I bought my first helmet the other day: an Arai Profile. It only set me back a few hundred dollars, but hey, I'd rather be in debt than dead. 

Sexy, right? 

Prior to this, I was using an old hand-me-down HJC that was way too big for my head and also had a dent/chip on it. I decided on the Arai because it was the most comfortable for my oddly-shaped head. I also have a big thing about ventilation because I always overheat in motorcycle gear. The Profile has more vents than I can count, although the two on the face visor are a little hard to operate with gloves on. It's fairly quiet, and very aerodynamic. I love it! My head actually feels... happy in it. Very secure. I recommend this helmet to anyone who has an odd-shaped head. The cheekpads are also removable for a more custom fit. I couldn't put the helmet on with the 35mm pads that come standard, but I am more than comfortable with the 25mm. I could wear that helmet around all day if I could.  

Plexis party, anyone? :D

-D 

The car is fixed.

And it only cost $200! 

Friends of friends of friends are great. 

I got into my first accident last week. With a parked car. 

Here's a picture of the damage. The other car sustained paint transfer and that was it. I was going approximately 2mph. 

This is roughly my reaction in pictorial form: 

The only thing that's missing is the perpetual rain cloud that followed me around for the rest of the week.

Hopefully I'll be able to fix it soon, but in the meantime, I will be eating a healthy dosage of my own words on bad women drivers as I search for a decent body shop. 

Depressingly yours,

-d 

So after 6 months of thinking, I've come to the conclusion: Street Bikes shall be my concentration.

 I'll let you know more about it when I actually learn to ride one, but for now, I'm content with my new motorcycle jacket, being a passenger on a 2003 Kawasaki Ninja 250 and looking at these ridiculous chaps by Icon. Assless chaps! The very idea behind it! 

 Think about it. You're going along about maybe 65-70 mph when you hit a little too much loose gravel or a pothole you didn't see and you fall off your bike. Okay so this product review says that they work fine at 50mph, but I'm still sketchy about them. No doubt they protect your knees and legs, but what about when you tumble over and land on your butt? With lowrider jeans still on the market (although mom jeans seem to be taking an unseemly comeback) and fashionable jackets riding above the waistline, road rash on my lower back and behind is not what I hope to acquire when I take up my new title as a lady rider.

As a fall expert (I was once part of a martial arts demonstration team and did my own stunts. Yes. I did.) I know that the ideal position of landing is butt in the air, upper back on the ground. Back armor does wonders for protecting this important part of your body. But in the heat of the moment when you're scared for your life, or for the life of your bike, you're not going to remember to fall correctly. Good-bye tailbone. 

So all I'm saying, from a female point of view, is these chaps look fantastic and are practical...at a show. I'm sketchy about how exactly they'd hold up in an accident, and don't expect me to throw out $400 for something that could also be used in the bedroom. Leather stains. 

Personally, I think that leather assless chaps should be left to Christina and the wonderful men from the Castro.

-d

 P.S. My laptop is finally getting fixed, so expect more regular updates from now on!

Here at Somethingsomething.com*, I have the grand pleasure of reading (and responding!) to the emails that our users send in to us. Having worked on this for quite a while, I’ve discovered that most users fall into the following 4 categories:

1. The Gimmies – I like to think of The Gimmies as real-life versions of one of my childhood books The Berenstain Bears Get the Gimmies. Terrific book. Not so terrific when you have to deal with at least 60 people a day asking for handouts. Blah blah, I follow your stuff. Blah blah, I’m a loyal person to your site. Blah blah, give me free stuff NOW. Did it ever occur to you people that we are a business? The very definition of business is to make money, I’m sure you’ve heard. Maybe. Somewhere along the lines of growing up. Maybe? Anyways, that’s what we have jobs for. To make money. And those of us who have jobs at this site try to make money. Not give out free stuff all the time. We’re not trying to rip you off, heavens no, but we’re not trying to go bankrupt either.

2. The Wannabes – I’m not talking about the Spice Girls (though I must admit, I love Victoria Beckham almost as much as her husband). I’m talking about those people, you know, the people who think that they’re better than you because they lifted their truck 13” or installed a cheap set of crappy rims. Oh you know who I’m talking about. Those people. They want their car featured in this and that and get sponsorships because they are the best and they know it. Too bad no one else thinks they are. Save your breath and go learn how to fix up your car right. No one wants to watch your rendition of Tokyo Drift 4, okay?

3. The Lost Ones – These are the sad ones because they’ve just entered the world of things that move and don’t really know what they’re doing. They write in because they tried to fix something under the hood and now it leaks and squeaks and looks like it might just fall off if it weren’t for that handy welding equipment you just happened to have in your basement.

4. The Angry Ones Threatening Lawsuits – My. Absolute. Favorite. CLEARLY they are being mistreated. OBVIOUSLY they are in the right. UNDENIABLY I did something that was stupid/ludicrous/moronic/pointless/wrong. UNDERSTANDABLY these people have the COMPLETE RIGHT to sue. Why am I even arguing otherwise. It is SELF-EVEIDENT that I am a brainless idiot who gets minimum wage and has the IQ of a taco because THEY couldn’t read the directions right. How thoughtless of me. I will now remove myself from the gene pool to satisfy you. The customer is always right! :D

So yes… if you come across any customer service agent… just know that we have the power of signing you up on any spam list that we come across.

And we won’t feel sorry about it.

<3

-d

*maybe if I one day become famous, I will tell you which site I work for… and then you can all stalk me at once.

I ran across this Plymouth Prowler today on my way home. Thought it was a pretty random find.

These suckers also have quite the loud alarm system. And apparently this owner didn't care much about it, since no one came out to turn it off. The car could also use a wash and a good waxing and buffering. I'd gladly do it all the time if I owned such a car.

Dear H3 driver that cut in front of me today,

I find it ironic that I have more confidence in driving next to divider on the freeway than you do. Your cautious driving and rather obvious dislike of the divider led me to one conclusion:

My balls are bigger.

My fuel-efficient, Civic-driving, non-mid-life-crisis-suburban-soccer-mom behind has managed to grow bigger balls than you. Granted, I can't tow 4,500 lbs*, but my gas tank also does not hold 23 gallons. At $3.70/gal, you're looking at nearly 90 bucks a fillup. Granted, the H3 is capable of up to 20 mpg (a HUGE improvement from H2's 11mpg), I still don't see why you would possibly need all 220 hp to pick up the kiddies.

If it were up to me, I'd make the little suckers walk home from soccer practice.

Although with the exciting new discovery that burning salt water is possible, I could just skip salting my neighbor's lawn and buying costly bottled water and just feed the kids sugary sports drinks and use the water to fuel the Hummer...

<3

-d 

P.S. The most amusing thing I saw today was a Lincoln Navigator trying to squeeze into the bike line to pass another SUV. Oh big cars..  

*stats are from the official Hummer page.  

I have been a terrible blogger. It's been, what, two weeks? since my last (and first) post. I actually recently embarked on a thousand-mile journey and was too ashamed to post about it because my car was so dirty. Apparently I can't write if my car is filthy. But now the car is clean and I can boast that I drove over a thousand miles in one weekend. My little Civic managed to hold through the whole time. I'm so proud of it. *pat pat*

But that was last weekend. This weekend, I actually had the pleasure of James' company as he taught me all about things that go vroom. I can now say that I know how a basic engine works. I probably wouldn't be able to explain it to someone else, but at least I know what a Hemi is. And also thanks to a co-worker, I know what MOPAR means. 

I will get James to one day teach me how to ride a motorcycle if it kills me (maybe even a feature in Section M?!). He says it's a matter of me learning to drive stick better. We'll get there eventually.

My reason for applying to SomethingSomething.com* was fairly simple: I needed a job, and I needed it now. I tend to adapt pretty well to situations around me, so I wasn't all too concerned about where I got a job. I just needed one.

Anyways, I now work for a sizeable car site and am enjoying every minute of it. My only problem? I have absolutely no background with cars. 

It was clear from the start that I had some major catching up to do. I had never owned a car until as of late, and quite frankly, never saw a reason to get into cars. In American society, women are not expected to know about cars. Hell, there's several websites dedicated to how terrible women drive, not to mention god knows how many more bad women driver macros out there. I, personally, don't buy into all that bull that hormones have something to do with it. If you're a terrible driver, you're a terrible driver. Notably, in the last article, there is no background on the learning abilities/styles of the test subjects or whether or not their upbringing included learning gendered skills.

Anyways, I digress.

This blog is for the specific purpose of documentation of my journey into the world of all things that transport. Import cars, off-roading trucks, motorcycles... you name it, I'll have some sort of exposure on it. Will I actually experience driving said vehicles? Most likely not. But I'll definitely comment on them with the skill and grace of an online critic.

As far as technical skills...I'll let you know when I learn how to change the oil in my car. I can change my tires already, but we'll get to the oil eventually. :D

Cheers,

-d

*obviously I'm not going to write which company I work for. This is the digital age: I'll be lucky if you don't track me down and show up at my door or steal my bank account.